Health Journey, Day 8

Well, it has been a week since I began this journey to better health. I made it through the first 7 days.  There were some tough moments but overall, it was a successful week. I truly feel like Plexus is kicking in and helping me with my energy and cravings. I have had some rough days and I can tell my body is detoxing  but I look forward to seeing how much more this helps during this second week.

The best parts of this week though have nothing to do with diet. I got to spend some time over coffee with a dear friend, musical practice with my amazing cast for Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and I swam a mile! Y'all I haven't felt like exercising at all much less doing something I love for exercise. And now that I have done it, I have so much more confidence that I truly can do this.

I have already been so blessed this week and I look forward to another week of my journey.

Health Journey, Day 1

As well as starting to write more today, I am also beginning (again) my journey to being healthier.

I have always been confident in myself and my appearance. Yes, I am overweight. I have been for a very long time. Did I ever want to be smaller...yes. Did I ever try to do something to make it better...yes. And it worked for a while. But then I just stopped trying. Why? I'm not so sure anymore. I guess I just decided to spend more time doing things that interested me more than exercise/eating well. Well that was until Reed and I decided to begin trying to have children. Then my perspective changed. So here is the reader's digest version of where I am today and why.

Reed and I decided to take the step to begin starting a family in  July of 2014. I went to the doctor and was told I was healthy (minus being overweight, which was obvious) and that we could start building our family. So I started working hard to make myself healthier by eating well and  In May of 2015, I took a test and found out I was pregnant! I was so SO excited! I had dreamt of being a mom for a long time. Reed was out of town when I took the test and I really wanted to tell him in person so I decided to wait until he came home. After all, I was only a few weeks pregnant. Well, 3 days later while Reed was still gone, I miscarried. I was devastated. Over the next few months, Reed and I went through several things that rocked our marriage a lot. I still had not told him about our baby at all. I went through a very dark time. I was angry, sad, scared, and I chose instead of being healthy, to just be. I ate a lot. I gained a lot of weight, which I definitely didn't need to do and I just felt terrible, physically and emotionally. Reed and I worked through the struggles we were having and I finally told him about our baby. Our relationship was becoming healthier again. But my physical self was not. I didn't know how to change that or truthfully, if I even wanted to

In January of 2016, a friend of mine told me about a system that she used to help her with her health. She had also had some difficulties with fertility and told me about the Whole30 lifestyle and how it helped her. Reed and I had been trying to have children for almost 2 years at this point so I decided that it was time to try something. I mean what could it hurt? Even if it didn't help with my fertility, what could it hurt? NOTHING. So in February 2016 after much research, I began my Whole30 cleanse. The first 15 days were TERRIBLE. I felt way worse than ever physically. But on day 16, I woke up feeling different; like things were working. By day 30 I was a new person. I had more energy than ever, I didn't always feel hungry and I had lost almost 20 pounds which was just the icing on the cake. I felt like it would last forever! But life happened yet again and I  told myself I was too busy and I slacked off. I would eat healthy somewhat but I gave myself too much slack and it didn't work. My feelings of sluggishness and small pains began to return. And I still was not able to conceive. I began to fill my life with as much as possible to fill the void infertility was causing and stopped being so concerned with myself and my health yet again.

Fast forward to February of 2017. After much prodding and praying and people doing whatever it took to try and help me, I finally went back to the doctor. I had been in for my annual visits every year and thought that that was enough, but finally I took the step to talk to her about other options for conception. So I began the process of fertility tests to see what was going on. And everything came back normal except for one: my ultrasound. It showed a cyst on my ovary that was quite large. My doctor said she didn't think it was dangerous/cancerous, but it was large enough for her to want to to remove it. I had that surgery on May 1st. The cyst was about the size of an orange.  BUT, it was not connected to my ovary like they thought. It was pushing everything out of the right position though. When I found all of this out I just cried because for the first time in a long time, I had my excitement back! What if this is the reason why and how simple of a fix is that?! Well of course we don't know that for sure, but I still absolutely think of this as a blessing from God. After speaking to my doctor, she said that she has high hopes but that making myself as physically healthy as I can is the best way to go to try and achieve good results. I finally have some answers and I am DETERMINED to make my body a place that is healthy and ready to house a baby if/when God decides to bless me with this.

Which leads to today. It has been a month since I talked to the doctor after my surgery and I have taken some small steps but today is a big one. I am ready. No more procrastinating. Why is it that I am so organized and planned in all aspects of my life except for my own health? Well I am hoping to change that today. As well as eating healthy, I have a friend who introduced me to Plexus a few months ago and I tried it but never took it very seriously. Well another friend has been on her Plexus journey for 30 days and it has helped her immensely. So, I am going to try it for real! I am ready. Ready to take the first step. Ready to jump in and make my physical self healthy FOREVER!

My prayer is that I can have the support from those that love me and care for me. That they will not be afraid to call me out and give me tough love when I need it. And that I am accepting of their love and help.

So cheers to this new journey! I'll keep you posted :)

Time to Start Over...

Woah... it has been 6 years since I wrote here! I actually thought I had deleted this blog a long time ago because I didn't use it. So today I decided I wanted to start writing again for several reasons which I will explain in a moment, and I went to create a new blog and I found my old one! Then I began to read my old posts and the tears began to flow because all of those feelings. My thoughts from 6 years ago just reminded me of why I began to write them in the first place and that I truly have missed sharing my thoughts...even if the audience is small...or possibly non-existent! Ha! But even then, I have missed sharing my thoughts and I am excited to start again!

My oh my, how life has changed in the past 6 years! I got married, moved back to San Angelo, began working at the BEST job in the world, Reed began working at a job he loves and also completed 2 Masters degrees and a whole lot of other things that span the roller coaster of life.

So I decided today to begin sharing my thoughts and events of life again in hopes to do several things:
1. Keep myself accountable on my journey to better health and well-being. If I share about my journey, I am much more likely to keep it up.
2. Share about my life-both the positive and the negative- to possibly be a light to others who could be going through the same things as I have.
3. Share my love of Jesus, music, and teaching to the world.

There is no specific topic to this space. Just a place for me to express who I am day by day. I am excited to start this journey again!

~Julie~

Maybe God Has Other Plans

So today, has been a really long day. It is only 1:15 too. I had my whole day scheduled and now the schedule is not right and it is hectic. I hate it when that happens. But maybe, just maybe, I need to stop planning. Maybe I just need to ask God what he needs me to do today, not what I think I need to do today.

That is a problem of mine. I try to control every tiny aspect of my life and when it goes awry, I have a hard time getting back on track. There is always things to do, homework to finish, people to see, and places to go. I schedule my days down to the minute. And if there are minutes to spare, I and in more activities so that the whole day will be full. But when have I ever considered what God wants me to do? I feel like I just totally block his will for me out of the picture when things get busy.

So now I pray:

"God, grant me peace. Show me that it is OK to be silent and just be. It is OK to remember you and reflect on your power in silence. Show me what your will for me is and help me follow through with it. You are mighty and more awesome than I know."

In Christ and In Love,

Julie

Making Time...Ultimate Peace

It has been quite a while since I have posted, and for that I apologize. Not just to you, but also to myself. I have had many thoughts like, "Oh, I have a lot of things on my mind that I want to blog about--things that could touch people and that I NEED to share!" But Satan grabbed a hold of my heart saying "That isn't important. You don't have TIME for that. You can do it later." And so, I didn't. I did not share what I had felt compelled to share for almost two months not because I just forgot, but because I listened to the voice of the Evil One, and not to the voice of God, the Everlasting Father. So again, I apologize.

And then this thought plagued me this morning-- Why do I never make TIME for what is ultimately important? Why do I fill my life with so much and forget, or dare say refuse, to do what is ultimately important? I say that I want God to be the center of my life, but I push my time with him to the smallest part of my day, and sometimes out of my day completely! I fill my time with so many activities, am always planning ahead, and doing what the world says is great! Why then do I feel so empty, lost, and stressed?  Having God in my life should be a 24/7 lifestyle, no matter what else I have going on. I can talk to him anywhere! Why do I worry about EVERYTHING, when, if I have God, I should worry about NOTHING?!  And then I ran across this prayer from St Francis de Sales:

"Do not look forward to what may happen
tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares
for you today will take care of you tomorrow and
every day. Either He will shield you from suffering,
or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace, then. Put aside all anxious thoughts and
imaginations, and say continually: "The Lord is my
strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in Him
and I am helped. He is not only with me but in me,
and I in Him."

St. Francis de Sales

When I found this and had soaked it in, I just felt a sense of relief, like the weight of the world had just been lifted off my shoulders. I don't need to worry about today, tomorrow, or anything! I just need to live my life for the One who saves us, and be like him, and everything else will be ok!

I hope that today, you can also find peace in Christ Jesus our Lord and remember that He is the One who will guide you through each day if you will let him!

In Christ and In Love,

Julie

The King/Queen of Instruments

In my vocal pedagogy class, we just finished discussing the voice mechanism and all of its intricate workings. It just amazes me how God created our bodies to work together in every way! The voice box is built of many tendons, muscles, and cartilage, and is only the size of a dime or nickel!! That is tiny! It not only functions to keep food out of your lungs, but controls the airflow and makes beautiful music! It is the only instrument that come from beep within a person. The music you produce with your voice is completely create by you and you alone! How cool is that?! Isn't our God amazing? He created our bodies to be instruments for him and everything in our bodies works together as one, but every piece is unique! 

I Corinthians 6:19 says:

"¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies"

My challenge today is to treat your bodies as holy temples of the Lord. Be Christ to everyone you come into contact with and use your talents that God has given you to bless others and praise Him!

In Christ and in Love,

Julie

Breath Prayers

My wonderful fiance and I were having a conversation tonight about many things relating to our spiritual lives. One of the things he brought up that pressed on my heart was the concept of breath prayers. All it is is a simple phrase that you think to the rhythm of your breath for example : Breathing in, think "Be still and know", then breathing out, think "that I am God." Do this over and over until for as long as you like. I found this concept so profound. Many people, including myself, find prayer as a very difficult task because they have a hard time finding the right words to say. This concept of a breath prayer shows that one simple phrase, prayed with all the feeling you have, can be so uplifting to the spirit. So I encourage you to find a scripture or phrase that is on your heart and pray it, over and over. God is an awesome God and it is so amazing that we have this avenue of prayer to connect with him,

"Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."

In Christ and in Love,

Julie